Life Between 0 and 1

Something about this time of year that just trigger’s my internal buttons, all of them, and turns me into a gen-x grouchy pants. I don’t have my family, or extended family and honestly don’t mind as much anymore being around family for dinners and such as I used to. It’s just this time of year that just grinds on my gears and a lot of little things feel like sand in between my toes that I can’t get rinsed away no matter how much water I use. Or a headache that just ghosts on you all day no matter how much aspirin or Advil you take with the slightest irritation taking it right back to full on pounding between the temples.

I have to admit now that I work from home full time without the worry of going back into an office, there is a significant amount of stress removed from my daily routine. Despite this, I am tapped as the default to do all sorts of “home” things as if I’m not really working. My calendar is actually more packed now than it was with my previous job when I went into the office with a 2 hour daily round-trip commute. I’ve even setup dedicated workspace that is used only for Monday-Friday working my full-time job to maintain work and personal mindsets. Regardless, I’m dropping off the daughter daily for her two in-person classes (she attends remaining classes virtually) and I regularly am expected to handle mid-day appointments, etc. I do not mind doing this at all, what I mind is that it’s assumed I can do this sort of thing without any advance planning or in most cases being asked first. They just show up on the calendar and I find out about them when I ask what the appointments are.

These appointments, especially for Doctor’s, have been frequent in the last few weeks due to the deductible being met and us cramming in as many appointments as we can before it resets in January. Already being grouchy about this time of year is being exaggerated by the additional stress of having to weave in 1–3-hour appointments “out of the office” in the middle of the day. My management has been super awesome so far about it and has worked to accommodate me as much as possible, but the concern it will not last is always in the back of my mind. Naturally I’m compensating by getting online earlier and staying online later each day making sure that output exceeds expectations, further changing my daily routine.

I think for everyone’s sake, Christmas and New Year’s should happen quickly.