Tag / bullies

Infrequent flyer
by Andrew

Never enough time

There’s something to be said about being so busy that you forget what it is that makes you relax when in fact, you have the ability to sit down.  My mistake for thinking that once the holidays were over, there would be more time to get back to some of the activities that keep me from being mean to people.  I’m still waiting for all this wishful extra time that I’m on the verge of just taking without regard for anyone around me.  Yup, I’m going to lock myself in my basement office that doesn’t have a locking door handle.  Knocking will just be met with silence or perhaps the occasional chair squeak that happens when I recline then sit back up again.

A few good things have motored my way in the last few weeks though.  There is a new position posted at my workplace that is 80% of what I’ve been doing for the last 9 months.  I have a decent chance of actually getting it as I’m on good terms with all of the interviewers.  While I think that I’ve done what was required in 9 months to demonstrate that I’m ready for the stretch goal this new position would put me into, anything can happen.  Silver lining is that I won’t be losing my job, it’ll just feel like being dropped a peg with a new level of management between me and the CIO.  Time will tell.  I already know that it’s more work of course, making a brain in my head that’s already tense that much more tense.

I think my daughter is being bullied in school.  Being the expert I am on that subject (go to hell bullies from my past), I recognize the signs all too clearly.  Her progress reports are slowly slipping without a noticeable difficulty in homework completion.  She is also not wanting to spend time with any of her friends and is hiding in the basement playing games, watching television, for hours at a time.  My restriction of “screen time” is met with some serious attitude, like way more than usual.  There is also a general lack of enthusiasm for any activities that she used to look forward to each week.  Yeah, she’s definitely being bullied.  The school is full of useless politically correct assholes that are experts in condescending placation when anyone reports suspected bullying.  I just hope that she decides to tell us before it starts to eat up her insides like it did to me.

The whole education system is beyond fixing at this point.  The only way to get a decent education for the kids is to pay ridiculous amounts of money for private school that is only  marginally better than public school.  Cyber schools are an option, but that is a huge commitment for parents that are both working.  Whatever the outcome of any of this, my daughter is the one suffering in the end.  I don’t have the answers right now, not sure if I ever will, but I need to get this suspected bullying taken care of now.

Don’t know when I’ll be able to sit down and write again, but as with previous posts, I do try to get free time.  The forces of life and responsibility have other plans lately.  Stay frosty.

by Andrew

3 types of people I tolerate, but would rather avoid

There are some people in this world that really put me in a bad mental space. The types of people who suck your limited energy and demand so much of you that its easier to avoid them rather than engage them. There are all kinds of people in the world that have been shaped by their parents and environment to interact appropriately with others around them. I question the motives such people have and how they’re personalities benefit them in the long-term. Being the type of person I am, I have a lot of time to observe the people around me in most situations. Knowing a little about the person I’m talking to (or going to talk to) in advance provides me the most efficient approach to as not to drain myself too quickly. Once I’m “done” in a social situation, I will and have just decided to leave for quieter surroundings.

An introvert almost always has a smaller “energy tank” than extroverts and what is their energy source is our drain. Meeting or interacting with the three types of people I detail below, to me, is like opening a sinkhole under my lake of energy and it disappearing quickly. In my experience, it takes an hour of solitude or deep thinking to recharge enough to have a 30 minute social interaction. Interacting socially with one of the three people below doubles or triples that drain. Again, this is subjective and based on my own experiences over the last 20 or so years.

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A really good example of the drain an introvert feels in social situations

Topper

This type of person is notoriously going to always have something to that is more interesting, more surprising, more expensive than anything you’re talking about. Not always the truth, they feel the need to validate themselves and stay in the conversation by making sure everyone knows they’ve topped whatever you said. Here are a few examples of what a Topper might say to you in response to a statement you’ve made.

In response to your vacation length: “Well, when I went there it was for 7 days, not 5 like you.”  In most cases, they never went there.

In response to what you’re driving: “Oh, you have a 2014, mine is a 2016 and newer.”  They’re also in more debt than you, a chance to top a topper 🙂

In response to the new house you just purchased: “That sounds like a nice house, but mine is 1,000 sq ft bigger and has a pool in the backyard.”  May or may not be true, but a larger house means more debt.

In response to your new job: “I can’t talk about my job, I’m under a non-compete.”  I added this one as this was an actual response I got. He meant to say NDA, and when I pointed that out, he walked away to start topping someone else, LOL

Interrupter

This person will consistently interrupt a conversation with whatever nugget they have to add. There is no vestige of manners with this person and most find them ultra annoying to be around. Being the type of person that I am, I respect others and don’t like to interrupt, ever. I wait my turn to speak and often with this type of person around I just don’t bother trying. An interrupter is often the person that asks “Why are you so quiet?” and is almost always an extrovert. I get the fact they’re trying to recharge their batteries from the conversation, but the lack of etiquette is inexcusable in my opinion. The only time I find this type of person helpful is when you’re having a debate with a group of people and they’re interrupting the people with a differing opinion other than your own.

“My shit doesn’t stink” (aka Politician)

Probably the most annoying person on my list. This person does no wrong. They continually remind everyone how awesome they are and when pointed out they made a mistake, they have a plausible reason as to why it was someone else’s fault and they’re the unfortunate bystander. In my experience, these people are naturally suited for politics as it takes a certain level of self-centeredness and arrogance to fit this category. This person also sees being labeled in this manner as a crowning achievement in their life.

Compliments to this type of person are usually responded to with a condescending and patronizing comment that reminds you that you couldn’t possibly be better than them. I’ve found in my life that I should avoid these types of people due to the fact they not only suck energy, they also take shots at your self-esteem and self-worth. Any imperfection is pointed out and highlighted in an attempt to make themselves feel better. These types of people are often bullies their entire lives.