There’s something to be said about being so busy that you forget what it is that makes you relax when in fact, you have the ability to sit down. My mistake for thinking that once the holidays were over, there would be more time to get back to some of the activities that keep me from being mean to people. I’m still waiting for all this wishful extra time that I’m on the verge of just taking without regard for anyone around me. Yup, I’m going to lock myself in my basement office that doesn’t have a locking door handle. Knocking will just be met with silence or perhaps the occasional chair squeak that happens when I recline then sit back up again.
A few good things have motored my way in the last few weeks though. There is a new position posted at my workplace that is 80% of what I’ve been doing for the last 9 months. I have a decent chance of actually getting it as I’m on good terms with all of the interviewers. While I think that I’ve done what was required in 9 months to demonstrate that I’m ready for the stretch goal this new position would put me into, anything can happen. Silver lining is that I won’t be losing my job, it’ll just feel like being dropped a peg with a new level of management between me and the CIO. Time will tell. I already know that it’s more work of course, making a brain in my head that’s already tense that much more tense.
I think my daughter is being bullied in school. Being the expert I am on that subject (go to hell bullies from my past), I recognize the signs all too clearly. Her progress reports are slowly slipping without a noticeable difficulty in homework completion. She is also not wanting to spend time with any of her friends and is hiding in the basement playing games, watching television, for hours at a time. My restriction of “screen time” is met with some serious attitude, like way more than usual. There is also a general lack of enthusiasm for any activities that she used to look forward to each week. Yeah, she’s definitely being bullied. The school is full of useless politically correct assholes that are experts in condescending placation when anyone reports suspected bullying. I just hope that she decides to tell us before it starts to eat up her insides like it did to me.
The whole education system is beyond fixing at this point. The only way to get a decent education for the kids is to pay ridiculous amounts of money for private school that is only marginally better than public school. Cyber schools are an option, but that is a huge commitment for parents that are both working. Whatever the outcome of any of this, my daughter is the one suffering in the end. I don’t have the answers right now, not sure if I ever will, but I need to get this suspected bullying taken care of now.
Don’t know when I’ll be able to sit down and write again, but as with previous posts, I do try to get free time. The forces of life and responsibility have other plans lately. Stay frosty.
If I may… whether her change of normal habits is distinctive of bullying or something else.. I’d not wait until she might get around to telling you, if at all. Just because we might have fulfilled our human goal of procreation does NOT assure that our roles as parents provides all knowledge as it might relate to parenthood; as parents we do not know everything, much less the things that might be ticking away in our own children’s’ minds. You’ve done the first great thing with your daughter.. you’ve identified a behavioral shift. That’s a huge head start… and from one parent (of three, all grown) to another, I applaud your awareness and observation. But I recommend.. move swiftly, although don’t pressure her. It sounds like you have a bit of common knowledge (if not from your own experience) on what to do. It’s not so much WHO she confides in (you, your wife, a friend, another adult…) but rather that she does confide in someone. We all hate to do this as parents, but you might want to consider “violating” her privacy communication.. her emails, texts, etc. She is still an underage child and falls under your protective wing… hence this is your right as a parent to “hack” into this part of her life. Her anger at finding that out will only last a while… but her well-being lasts forever.
If I may suggest a resource… I realize your own past maybe has led to a bias against public education and I certainly will not debate that with you as I’ve not walked a mile in your shoes. But.. if you approach your school district administration… not your local school educators… take them out of the loop to start. Ask your district people the current processes for handling bullying situations, and I don’t mean necessarily desiring their involvement in enforcement of the bullies themselves, but rather the human and behavioral side of the ramifications of bullying to the victim. Are there process parents can follow to help their child victim cope, are there behavioral resources to recommend courses of action to try and reverse the effects to self-esteem. Many times at the district level they have access to certain governmental sources and resources that might assist in behavioral interpretation and corrective action. As a parent we want two things.. an immediate stop to the bullying.. and correcting any damage that might have been done.
I hope all goes well. 🙂
Thanks for the advice! The administration in our district is a little hands off, but I think I know how to get their attention.
Good luck with your position! And my heart breaks for you and your kid. I’m seeing mine get picked on also, as she exhibits ADHD behavior that her peers don’t, which makes the peers laugh at her and even push her buttons. As the fellow above said, I’m trying NOT to wait.
Have you given thought to developing your multi-tasking skills … or is it possible for you to prioritize your concerns and eliminate some of them that are no longer as important as they once were?
Good luck with your daughter. That almost sounds like depression (from my experience) and is definitely concerning. I hope things improve for both you and the kiddo.
As to the bullying of your precious child … you might find the following to be of some help —- https://www.stopbullying.gov/