When you stop to think about it, true friends are like family without the commitment to obligation to see them on holidays, birthdays, etc. Family is mentally and physically draining for many reasons, many of which lead back to the fact that they remember how you used to be and have difficulty understanding why you would ever change. Friends on the other hand, at least in my experience, go with the flow and embrace change as it happens as it strengthens the bond; makes the friendship stronger over time. It’s this reason that for most the idea of a “true friend” is so foreign and unattainable because the level of trust required to be given is truly frightening.
Most people have a lot of what I refer to as acquaintances often mistakenly though of as friends. These people are the ones that you see at work, on the weekends, hang out with at parties or catch up with over lunch every so often. Acquaintances are definitely ones that you are connected with over social media accounts and rarely ever see in person. The idea of calling up an acquaintance, out of the blue, asking to meet up because you need to talk to someone about something really important or need help is foreign and feels like wearing a left shoe on your right foot. The fact of the matter is that we all have a lot of these types of friends but most will ever ascend to the pedestal of a true friend.
True friends are those lucky few that are allowed access to the inner working of your mind and soul. They’ve seen the raw energy, the darkness and light, the wordless joy and crushing sadness, and the massive crazy that is your life for what it is. In return they’ve shared the same with you, raw, uncut, unedited. There is a connection deep enough that a mere glance can emote an entire conversation in seconds with no effort at all on either participant. A true friend would give you their last dollar to help you out if they didn’t need it at that very moment. These are the reasons that true friends are so hard to find and so hard to keep once you do find them. This kind of connectedness isn’t normal for most people, certainly isn’t normal for me. In fact, I go from full to empty in a matter of an hour or so with this type of person and have attempted to sabotage these relationships in the past.
What’s the point of all this? That’s a good question. I guess the point here is that I’m in a place right now where I could use a true friend and I don’t have one right now. If you’re one of the lucky ones to have a friend like this, make sure to hang onto them and recognize what it is you’ve managed to capture. Very few of us have someone that gets us for the true person that we are on the inside, the person that talks back to us on the inside that no one else can hear. Once you find that true friend, grab on and don’t let go, it’s like holding onto a hurricane.
You wrote: “It’s this reason that for most the idea of a “true friend” is so foreign and unattainable because the level of trust required to be given is truly frightening.”
I am 80 years old now and can count real friends on the fingers of my hand.
All throughout my long life I have been searching for that one, true friend and the closest I ever came was my wife who has no been deceased for more than 12 years. But even she had her moments of self-serving … moments during which I felt locked out of the relationship — but she was very close to being the one true friend that I had always searched for.
Most of the people who call themselves my friends today have been “Acquaintences.” They were there when I could entertain them or give them something they needed but at most of the other times they were nowhere to be found.
Your points here are totally on point and accurate…. very accurate … painfully accurate.
Thanks for sharing.
Indeed, the circle of “true friends” is often very small.
True friends ….like vapors in a wind …. present for a few pleasant moments and then gone with the rising of the sun. If you ever need a friend to talk to, you can always g-mail me. I am a good listener.
I left a comment but I don’t see it anywhere.
I wish making real friends were as easy as they made it out to be in elementary school.