Category / Self Reflection

by Andrew

Nothing stays the same

I want to start off by apologizing to all that follow me for my lack of activity the last few months.  Life has been rather hectic this summer so far and there isn’t any reprieve for me in the near future based on what I know is coming.  Sticking to a writing schedule has been difficult when there isn’t much time so spare.  The little downtime I manage to scrape together has been dedicated to real life things that have been pushed off due to unplanned events and not staying up to date on family event scheduling.  There is so much in the summer that needs to be done that doesn’t need to be done any other time of the year.  Making sure the lawn is mowed, yard work, making sure someone is watching my daughter (the wife is now working), parties and of course impromptu weekend get-togethers planned on a whim.

The wife is working now after getting a call from a mutual friend from the firehouse where she volunteers and is now the Treasurer.  Her friend runs their own business and after their book-keeper gave notice, they called my wife and offered her the job.  She accepted and it’s been an exercise in futility trying to work out camp, places for the daughter to go afterwards and changing work-from-home days on fly week to week.  I’m home today for instance, but my normal remote work days are Tuesday/Thursday.  For someone that relies on a weekly routine, it’s been stressful keeping up week to week with the ever changing responsibilities.  The extra money is definitely helping, a lot, but it’s slowly eroding my ability to stay somewhat normal and calm.  I’m finding that driving has started becoming a string of curses at other drivers for doing stupid things, which is how it started last time when I lost my crap across the board a few years ago.  It’s worrisome.

I’ve never liked the summer months.  It’s hot, humid and I’m generally not a happy camper unless I’m inside with ample air-conditioning cooling everything down, including me.  There are actually quite a few things that I don’t really like throughout the year, but tolerate for various reasons.  As long as I can get the downtime I need to tolerate the world, it’s all good.  What isn’t good is how I’m feeling now and not seeing a way back until school starts again for my daughter.  That leaves me with just over three weeks before a semi-normal routine returns to the household and, naturally, to me.

This coming weekend is, at this point, open with nothing planned until Sunday afternoon.  I’m hoping it stays that way.

by Andrew

Work – 1 / Life – 0

The last time I posted something was May 22nd and all my plans to stick to a schedule got thrown out the window. Work reared its ugly head and has been kicking my ass for the last several weeks with little reprieve or consideration for my personal time. Getting home after working since 5:30am meant getting dinner ready, cleaning up, doing anything that needed to be done around the house and nothing was left in the tank for me. I ended up going to bed most nights earlier than usual just to keep up with the next days work load. I’ve slacked on writing, reading and generally keeping life balanced with work. There is light at the end of the tunnel though, but it’s still a few weeks off at this point and will unfortunately start back up again towards the end of August.

I’m still writing sporadically for EatPrayVote.org as I still do managed to read the news every day and write when I’m passionate about certain subjects; mainly political stuff though. They’re quick drive-bys around 400-500 words mostly that are mostly reporting with a sprinkle of opinion for good measure. I find it cathartic to write out the politics clanging around in my head keeping me from becoming too jaded with all the crap that’s been flung at us in the last few weeks from Washington, D.C. Even writing political opinion has tapered off in recent weeks and I get about 2-3 pieces submitted and published when just a few weeks ago, I was submitting 1-2 per day.

Funny how you can make so many changes to keep things balanced between all your commitments and one thing can throw the whole thing out the window. I’ve kept pushing myself to minimize as much as possible and, interestingly, the less I have around me the easier I find it to stay closer to feeling balanced regardless of whether I actually am or not. The majority of the items that I find add value to my life have been moved and organized into my office space in the basement. The family is in a separate category of course, but material possessions now fit into a single 11×12 foot room with little feeling of clutter. Once I get the closet built around the radon mitigation tube going into the floor, I’ll have even more items packed away behind a closet door. It’ll quickly become a refuse that will help me recharge my batteries.

Last night I took a few hours to watch some Dr. Who, which was a feat in of itself as I had to utilize my VPN client to log me into a UK-based server to allow me to stream the content through BBC One iPlayer. The new season has started out slow and I’m looking forward to getting into some more action packed episodes. The mix of different writers has brought a lot of different types of stories and has varied the show without leaving behind the core of what makes Dr. Who “feel” like Dr. Who. It was good to get some uninterrupted time to watch some shows. I also am now taking the daughter to archery classes, which she’s been doing for almost a year now. I’ve started taking her because I want to start shooting with her and it just makes sense that I take her if I’m there already 🙂 I’ll be shooting with her next week as they didn’t have a bow big enough to accommodate my string pull distance.

I can’t make any promises when I’ll be back more regularly until I get a better idea of how things shake out at work in terms of audits and organization changes. I moved to a different building in the same campus and am now reporting to a new Director that is most certainly going to make additional changes. It might pan out that I get a bump in salary and position so that I can, at some point in the future, build out my own audit team. It remains to be seen how that plays out though, but I’m hopeful the changes will be positive.

Looking forward to some life when work decides to take some time off 🙂

by Andrew

Family ties to technology

I didn’t have a good weekend. It rained all day Saturday and we were running around all day Sunday because it was Mother’s Day. Of course the daughter decided that Sunday would be a day she would grind against the grain of everyone else and, as much as I love her, single-handedly ruined an otherwise good day with family. I’m starting to notice a pattern though and will be putting in some strict restrictions on the use of anything that contains a screen and run on electricity. She lost her iPhone for 4 weeks because of her last quarter grades. We both noticed a marked improvement in her attitude and behavior that regressed literally an hour or two after she got it back. The girl is hopelessly addicted to all things screen and her typical “I’m not stopping until I want to” attitude always gets in the way. My wife doesn’t help matters either as she is just as addicted to her mobile as well and it’s been a struggle to hold a conversation with her that wasn’t disconnected and unintelligible. I’ve since refused to talk with her when her attention is on the phone screen as I already know, you can’t multi-task with an electronic device, it just isn’t possible. Anyone out there who thinks they can multi-task; verbal conversation and use their phone, they’re just fooling themselves and doing two things barely mediocre.

My level of frustration the last few weeks has unfortunately gone up. My wife tells the daughter to stop yelling at her, yet my wife yells at her to stop yelling. It really is counter-productive in my opinion. I, on the other hand, have manged to keep my tone and outward display of anger to a minimum (for the most part) as it tends to get better results. Our daughter is old enough to know and understand the impact of what she says and how she says certain things, so there really is no excuse for downright disrespect for the sake of exercising control despite her losing the privileged of what she’s trying to control. The whole thing is just counter-productive and doesn’t really make any sense to me. The daughter refuses to do anything when she’s on her phone, playing what I consider real stupid time-suck games, and only listens to either of us once we’ve taken the phone away. Then of course its a fight to get her to do what we’re asking because now she’s angry she lost her phone as a result of her own actions; but it’s our fault, always.

The evaluation of technology in my life is taking a very dark and negative turn, to the point where I get frustrated with anyone using a device near me when I’m trying to say or do something. I’ve respected them by putting my phone, laptop, etc. down but rarely get that in return. The old adage “lead by example” just doesn’t seem to fit when technology is involved. I’m not even going to the “do unto others” space right now. My wife has conveniently forgotten, consistently, that I deleted Facebook and has conversations with me based on Facebook information. When I say I’m not on Facebook anymore, she’s reminded that I abandoned the platform and just stops talking; the subject doesn’t change, she just stops and returns to the screen. I just don’t get it. Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, at least that’s what we’ve been told for years, but all I ever see is the negative side of it. People who can’t hold a conversation unless it’s in text form. Social gatherings consist of an entire table of people on their phones. Parents hold up iPads at recitals to “record” their children without a seconds thought of the 9.4″ of blocking capability the iPad produces for the people behind them. Having a conversation with someone under the age of 30 consists of “so”, “like” and “uhm” being practically every fourth word. Call me crazy, but I don’t say any of those words when holding conversation with people. Hearing them tossed at me just derails my train of thought and makes it difficult to actually listen.

There are days that I wish someone would set off an electro-magnetic pulse bomb rendering anything electronic essentially a brick. Our civilization would literally fall apart in the span of a few days though, so it’s not a wish rooted in logic. It’s a wish rooted in frustration, as in “See, technology doesn’t make anything better, none of you can actually hold a conversation to literally save your lives.” Our futures in this world are in jeopardy if we can’t learn to ride the fine line between technology assistance and technology addiction. The Internet was commercially available around 1992, anyone born after that date has never lived without it. What ever happened to learning the hard way first in order to appreciate the easy way second?

by Andrew

I’m ready for a vacation

The last few months I’ve become painfully aware of one truth that I had, for years, denied myself from believing. It’s the truth that unless something drastically changes in the lives of my family, we’re going to forever be owing money to other people. Mortgage loan servicers, credit card companies, auto financiers, utility companies, insurance companies, etc.. The list goes on and on and anyone living the “American Dream” is painfully aware of how difficult and out of reach that dream really is. I’m far from being uncomfortable right now, in fact, I think we’re living just inside our means as I’ve consistently said “No” more than I’ve said “Yes” for the last year since moving into our current home. The problem is that we’re in a home where we aren’t certain what has and has not been properly maintained and it seems we find out when its the most inconvenient. Murphy’s Law in full effect for our household. In the last year, we’ve repaired or replaced:

  • Main water line (inside the house)
  • Water softener
  • Hot water heater
  • Kitchen appliances
  • Front door
  • Garage doors and openers

We’ve also had the back yard fenced in with post & rail with green goat fence stapled to the inside. We really didn’t need a fence, but the dog was getting bolder in going after rabbits and would make it much farther into the field before deciding to listen to our screams to come back. She’s a good dog, but damn, that girl is determined to get a rabbit in her mouth. We paid cash for the fence, cash that I had saved up rather painfully for several months to establish a cushion. One bank statement a few months back that the wife looked at saw the money and was like “we have money, we’re getting a fence.” Who am I to argue. My back thanked me for not having to sleep on the sofa if I said anything other than “Yes.” I’ve since converted our statements to paperless and they’re emailed to my account now 🙂

The wife isn’t working through the summer, it’s school break time. We have very little cushion at this point and it’s started to irritate my normally pragmatic approach to finances. I should have held my ground firmer and explained what the savings were for, like the hidden problem that will cost a few hundred or more that we’re not aware of yet for example. I know the air conditioner is too small for the house and it’s only a matter of time before the thing overloads and burns out. Internet and air conditioning are two necessities that I rank higher than anything else in the household; only the mortgage is higher priority. She doesn’t get it and is rather impatient with the whole waiting to replace things aspect of having a house that wasn’t built to our specifications. I have sometimes questioned why we moved in the first place when a few changes could have made our previous house workable. Hindsight is a bitch.

I’ve made so many changes and cuts to our monthly budget with very little difference to show for it. Every time I think we’re backing away from the edge some unforseen repair or payment pushes me back to the edge again. The most depressing part about all of this is that I’m nursing pants, shirts, shoes and other items to their bitter end before breaking down and buying some new stuff. Not because I want to, but more because I know that the daughter needs them more than I do. That girl grew almost 2″ from November to now and she is in the same size shoe as my wife……the daughter is 10 by the way. I’m not growing that much and can handle a few stitch repairs to extend the life of a shirt, but she literally is growing out of her stuff every 6-9 months.

What to do, what to do. The summer is going to be really tight and with me doing all the finances, I’m the one that worries and bears the burden of making sure there’s a roof with utilities for us to live in. I may just have to swallow my disgust and start letting people know I’m doing computer work on the side again to bring in some extra cash. I can only take so many “I don’t know how that malware got there” excuses before I get cranky with people’s attitudes towards security, or lack thereof. I need a vacation.

by Andrew

Mystery Blogger Award

The mystery bloggers award

Dacia of Britestfyrefly nominated me for the Mystery Blogger’s Award, and I thank her for doing so as I was in a rut as to what my topic today should be.  Here is her Mystery Blogger’s Award post if you’re interested in seeing her questions and answers.  I’ve been following her for a while now and I can’t recall if she followed me first or if I followed her first; it really doesn’t matter.  Something about her writing, how she presented herself, is what kept me following.  It didn’t hurt that we had similar interests and I think my sagely advice might have helped a little too 🙂

This award was originally created by Okoto Enigma and you can find her blog HERE.

As part of the award, I have to answer 5 questions she has asked of me.  First though, there are some rules.  It’s an honor to reciprocate this award, but there is a little more to it:

  1. Post the award/ image on your blog (see above)
  2. Thank whoever nominated you and give a link back to their blog.
  3. Mention the creator of the award and give a link back to their blog.
  4. Tell your readers three things about yourself.
  5. Nominate 10-20 deserving bloggers and notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  6. Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice; including one weird or funny question.
  7. Share a link to your best post.

Three things about me:

  1. I’ve lived in Pennsylvania since I was 4 years old.
  2. My blogging career spans more than two decades; 11 pen/paper, 10 online, last 5 at this blog site.
  3. Been married for 17 years and have a 10 year old daughter, who’s a handful at times and growing up way too fast.

Here are the questions Dacia posed to me:

  1. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be and why?

    The cover of “The Sound Of Silence” by Disturbed.  Although I’ve heard this already from Simon & Garfunkel a hundred times, it was something totally new after hearing it from Disturbed.  At various points of time in my life, I’ve connected with the lyrics of the song and being an introvert, it’s comforting in a way to listen to this and know that things will pass eventually and get better.  It’s a reminder that music can and does heal everything.

  2. What is your writing routine?  Do you have one?  Should you have one?  What would be your ideal writing life?

    This is four questions in one and is bending the rules slightly 😀  I tend to write when the mood strikes or there is something rolling around in my head that needs to be processed in a way that writing it out can solve.  The routine is random, so not really much of a routine, but I do average at least a few hours through the week to sit down and write.  At any given time, there are several drafts in-progress saved to my laptop.  I’m not sold on the rigid writing routine as anything creative tends to be random and when the mood strikes.  My ideal writing life would be a sound proof room, disconnected from everything, with the ability to write whenever I feel it necessary to do so without the worry of having to work and pay the bills.

  3. In the movie of your life, what actor could best portray you?

    Drew Carey, hands down.  I’m a geek and proud to be one too.  Drew is similar in build, appearance, and temperament.  With a few tweaks of his clothes and glasses, he would be a perfect actor to protray me.  The movie of course would be really boring and filled with lots of “processing” while sitting at computer.

  4. What are you currently reading?

    I actually don’t actively read despite the fact that I’ve read a lot of books.  I get into a groove every so often where I’ll rip through two or three books and then not pick one up for months.  I do read online news sites, blogs, and opinion sites on a daily basis though as I contribute to another blog focused on political opinion.  The link to that is in the sidebar.

  5. Describe the most trying time of your life?

    Hands down, high school.  It was the only time so far in my life where I felt completely lost and worthless to the world.  It took me more than a decade to get past the issues I pushed deep down before I dug them out and dealt with it in my adult life.  I’ve not attended or seen anyone from that time of my life and I doubt I ever will.  There is nothing from high school that I want to celebrate or even remember as people can be damagingly cruel to others.  I’ve since lived my life in a place of tolerance, respect, and understanding.

Here are the lucky 10 bloggers that I’ve bestowed this award on:

  1. Erika at DorkyMomDoodles
  2. John at The Ripening Wanderer
  3. Emily at Nerd In The Brain
  4. Deb at The Moster In Your Closet
  5. Juls at The Indecisive Eejit
  6. The Snail of Happiness
  7. Ally at The Spectacled Bean
  8. The Chatty Introvert
  9. In Search of It All
  10. Lobotero at In Saner Thought

Here are the questions I’ve asked of them:

  1. When did you start blogging and why?
  2. If you had one vehicle to puchase in your entire life, what would it be and why?
  3. Are you a citizen of more than one country?  Which ones?
  4. What is your favorite meal?
  5. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why?

My best post:

By far, my best post and one of the most active with over 44 comments.  I’d never broken more than 20 on anything previous.  The post is titled The inauguration speech and is a break down of the speech Donald Trump gave on January 20th, 2017.  This was one of those posts that I was fired up about and need to process it through writing.

by Andrew

Off my game and cranky

I’ve soooooooo been off my game lately. Not that I’m complaining per say, but it’s starting to get a little ridiculous at this point. For the last several weeks I’ve consistently been thinking about technology and how it’s literally invaded the lives of everyone around me. I realized just how pervasive technology has been during the weekend teaching my daughter how to dial a phone number on a spare mobile phone we just activated for her to use when we’re not home or out on errands. I went back to my childhood and realized that I’d known how to use a telephone (ones attached to wires, hanging on the wall…..i’m old) around 7 or 8. Those were the days when you called someone and if they didn’t answer, no one was home. Getting in touch with someone was a crapshoot because the phones were stationary for the most part.

Back to my daughter, teaching her how to dial a phone number. She grabbed the phone out of my hand saying “I know how to make a phone call” then stared at the screen after going into the phone app. Well, she didn’t know and smartbutt had to give the phone back to me. I showed her where to dial in the number, how to select someone from the contacts list and how to add someone to the contacts list. There is a parental control app that monitors who gets added so I or my wife can approve/block/delete before she sees it if we feel it’s not appropriate. I showed her that only numbers in the contact list are allowed to ring through, all others are blocked. Really a slick app that I have installed in Parent mode on my own mobile phone. She complained until I told her she won’t have control of her own phone until she pays for her own phone, so the complaining was brief. A locked down phone is better than no phone I guess. Where is the drive to want to learn how things work?

I know how to use computers, technology in general, because I want to learn how they work and how to use them. Technology was a new thing for my generation and for those that took to it, bleeding edge stuff, its been a life filled with learning. Technology being pervasive and having invaded our lives completely, the drive to learn how things work and how to use them has diminished greatly. My daughter doesn’t want to know how the laptop works as long as the power button turns the thing on and takes her to her apps/games. She also doesn’t care how the Xbox works as long as it powers on and connects her to YouTube so she can watch stupid videos of other people recording themselves playing Minecraft. She has asked no less than 10 times for me to create a profile for her friend on our Xbox that I’ve refused to do with the statement “Figure it out on your own, you’ll thank me later.” She hasn’t even tried.

All this brings me to my off gameness. For the last two decades I’ve lived, eaten and breathed technology in all aspects. How quickly it has changed just in the last year or so makes me question whether it’s actually made my life better or not. I don’t talk with my wife while she’s on her phone, I refuse to compete with a glowing screen. I don’t ask my daughter to do anything while there is a screen, any screen, lit up in her line of sight. I also deleted Facebook, as you all know already, because there is nothing social about connecting with people through an application or website virtually. Many people my age, as I’ve read and talked to, are getting to the same point with the technology in their lives. I’ve even curtailed the amount of television I stream because, honestly, the content is getting contrived and commercialized. Watch Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. I was a huge fan of Bill Nye The Science Guy back in the day by the way. I was disappointed with his new show.

Technology and me will be having a heart to heart very soon in the near future I think. I don’t think technology has good odds. Time will be the ultimate judge.

by Andrew

Unintended disconnect

I’ve been sick the last 6 days and finally starting to feel better.  This was a hard one this time as I had seasonal allergies on top of the usual symptoms from a cold.  The last thing I wanted to do was pick up a piece of technology let alone look at a screen, so I had an unintended disconnect from the online world.  I can’t say that it’s been all that bad, but I do feel eerily disconnected from a lot more than just technology.  The last 6 days I’ve done hardly anything other than lay around and binge watch (then watch again after falling asleep) some older shows.

It’s going to take me a few days to get back into the normal routine as I’ve returned to work today after a few days suffering.  My usual thing is to work from home during a sickness, but my aversion to anything technology forced me to just take the time.  After more than a year at my current job and taking almost no sick time, I’ve accrued quite a bit of it according to my last pay stub.  I said screw it, I’m taking sick time because they are giving it to me and I really didn’t have any motivation to focus on anything.  Of all the years I’ve been in IT to some degree, I’ve rarely been so disconnected from everything; at least not without a lot of stress.  This time, no stress, not a care actually; it was quite relaxing despite having a horrible cold.

Yeah, I hear you all now, a “man-cold” isn’t serious stuff…..blah blah.  For almost two days I was at the point where the pressure in my head felt like it was going to explode and nothing helped.  Hot shower with steam, no relief.  Vicks in hot water with a towel over the head, didn’t make a dent.  Nasal decongestant spray, 12-hour no less, barely let me get through the night without getting stuffed up again.  Things were so bad at one point I almost went to the doctor, something I never do usually, because I was almost convinced that it was a sinus infection.  Well, it wasn’t and pushing through the pressure I got out on the other side and feel almost back to normal.  It bothers me that this time it didn’t have the pre-requisite two days of my throat being on fire indicating that a cold was on the way.

I have it down to get around to my normal Monday post, Three Things Thursday and hopefully I won’t miss my Weekend post.  Then again, having them down doesn’t mean they’ll get done, so no promises.  Being offline, so to speak, for a few days has me evaluating my reliance on technology in general as actually is possible to survive without being connected.  I realized this as my wife continued to use her phone after we went to bed last night and was still on it two hours later when I was woken up by the dog.  I’m not sure she got anything productive out of those two hours and I’d rather not be slave to things like that.

by Andrew

On a slow anger simmer

I had the last four days off and had hoped that Monday and Tuesday I would primarily be by myself. That didn’t happen and I’ve been on a consistent angry simmer for the last 48+ hours. Nothing I’ve done, or attempted to do, has gone according to any semblance of a plan I had ridiculously thought might have helped. Wanted to finally get all the taxes together and ready to mail, they’ve already been submitted electronically, just owe all around this year. Wanted to get some writing done for EPV, but my mental attitude didn’t lend itself to that either. Wanted to cut the lawn but couldn’t get the lawn mower started; think it needs a new carburetor. Needed to get the toilet guts swapped out as water is leaking into the bowl and making them run every so often; decided that would be a bad idea.

Rather than getting 5-6 hours of time to myself, to work at my own pace, I wasn’t alone except for a few hours on Monday but I was too far into the anger to have it be productive. The wife was supposed to be at her sister’s house until last night, but came home last Sunday instead because the accommodations there were hard to deal with. I get it, I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere that was cluttered and messy. Being forced to sleep on the sofa alone would have been enough for me to want to leave. The problem is that I’ve needed to get alone and work through some difficult issues and work up some plans that require focused thought to complete. My tolerance for the normal things that bother me is gone and I simmer all day on the edge of anger. At this point, short of a taking a day to myself outside of the house, I don’t think I’ll get past this overwhelming feeling.

Adding to the pressure is the fact we’re having a birthday dinner for my Mom this Saturday, at our house, with my brother in attendance. I’m off on Friday, but I already know that I won’t have any time to myself unless I just head out in the early morning and don’t come back until later in the day. That would most certainly cause more problems than it solves as I need to stay around and get the lawn taken care of. Dinner at our house means that we’re stuck with cleaning up after dinner. We’re also stuck with all the leftover food (we always have left over food) that ultimately will be lunches and dinners for the next few days into next week. I’m okay with the same thing the next day, but push it two or three then I’m just not hungry and won’t eat.

The wife is off this entire week and I already know that today and tomorrow nothing will get done. She’ll get sucked into working on something for the firehouse, doing something random that wasn’t planned, or just not have any motivation and do nothing. I’ll end up cleaning up the dishes, running the dishwasher and most likely doing the laundry. If it’s a tag team effort I don’t mind doing any of that, but when it’s me all the time because some time suck is occupying her time for days on end through the week, it quickly gets annoying. When I sit in my office or in front of the TV, I’m not just sitting there doing nothing. I’m inside my own head, thinking and processing, trying to work through anger so that I’m no longer angry. From the outside, it looks like I’m just being lazy further convincing me that her saying she understands doesn’t equal her actually understanding at all.

The next few weeks don’t tell me that I’ll have any opportunity for time to myself.

by Andrew

This is your brain on stress

I need some downtime.  For the last few weeks, I’ve had something to do pretty much every day from the time I’ve woken up to the time I’ve gone to sleep.  It seems like months, but in reality it’s only been maybe three weeks.  The stress of going from one thing to the next has my limits being tested especially when plans don’t go exactly as expected.  I can count the number of hours of downtime I’ve had on one hand making finding a long stretch of time where I can unbind my brain that much more imperative.

The free time that I have had was used to run through the finances, complete the family taxes and creatively find funds to pay for tax shortfalls that we didn’t anticipate.  We aren’t by any means in dire straits, but don’t have too much of a cushion or emergency funds to tap into as we’ve already used them a few months back for healthcare bills.  That brings me to something that’s been on the top of my mind, healthcare.  It seems so much harder this year than in previous years as the providers are getting harder to deal with in terms of payments.  It seems being a patient for years, with not an issue with payments, has no bearing on the them forcing a $1k repayment for testing over three months is unfair.  My usual offer to pay back $100/month fell on deaf ears, to which I said I’m sending them $100/month and if they don’t like it, they can send me to collections.

The wife is going to her sisters house for a few days to help her recover from major surgery and is leaving home base in my hands.  I took two days off next week so have a 4 day weekend coming up; something to look forward to.  The daughter is quite self-sufficient at 10 now and finds things to occupy her time.  I have a few activities planned that the both of us can do of course, but they’re maybe a few hours on 1-2 days.  She also has school on Monday and Tuesday giving me several hours to myself that will be a welcome relief.  Those two days will be singing to me like violins out of the sky and I can take my time doing the few things I know need to be done.  One of them being a real overhaul of the household budget that I can really concentrate on with nothing interrupting me.

I need to have another conversation with the wife reconfirming my need for a few hours each week where I can unbind and peel off stress.  The fellow introverts out there know exactly what I’m talking about and understand.  My wife is concerned that the daughter is showing signs of wanting to be by herself more than be with friends on most days; something I said wasn’t a problem.  I was forced into social situations and was made to go outside when I was younger and I resented my parents for a long time because of that.  I told the wife its normal, to let it be, and if she starts becoming too isolated I would take the lead in helping her find a balance.  In my experience, it’s the balance that is more important than forcing one behavior or another; balance makes it good.  My wife, the extrovert, tries to understand but doesn’t have the context to truly understand.

Hope to see you again on Thursday, the wife made another painting that is now hanging in my office.  I’m going to need a bigger office if she keeps up the painting, or I’ll just have to start getting them framed and hang them up in the house.  She’s really getting good at them.  I also had a lake in my backyard for a few hours during a ridiculous rain storm that confirmed that the sump pump does in fact work as advertised.

by Andrew

Humans don’t need to suffer like this

This is an opinion piece based on the article below.

How bad does the world have to get before we start to realize that it’s not all clean tap water, endless food buffets and golden toilets that whisk our poop away?  Real people, children, are suffering an agonizing slow death because of a comparatively smaller group of self-centered and self-absorbed rich elites.  I didn’t have the words to describe my disappointment until recently and I’ve stopped turning away and ignoring the problem.  It is unacceptable to me that in a country of so-called Christians, we have put a man into the White House that is going to reduce the amount of funds that go to foreign humanitarian aid, not increase them.

The commodity that is so badly needed in these areas you ask?  Water.  Simple water.  So many American’s take it for granted that when they turn on the tap, clean and drinkable water flows out.  What if all of a sudden, due to causes outside of your control, that water was now cloudy, thick and slimy; would you still drink it?  Would you get so thirsty, almost on the brink of death, that you would risk drinking the water that you know for certain will get you sick?  I’ve personally never been in that position, but imagine that I would in order to fight for my life and stay alive.  A human can go 4-6 weeks without food, but only 4-5 days without water before a fatality occurs.

There is a real possibility, almost a certainty, that Somalia, South Sudan, Nigeria and Yemen will be in the grips of a months long famine later this year.  That is approximately 20 million people who will be starving and dehydrated and more than likely facing death before the end of this year.  How can the world idly standby and watch this crisis unfold and not do anything?  There is more than enough food and water in the world to where no one would ever have to face being hungry or thirsty ever again.  Technology has enabled us to clean the dirtiest and nastiest of any source of water.  We have the ability to create self-sustaining systems of food production after creating the environment for that to take hold in the first place.

All it takes, unfortunately, is money.  Money drives all of our decisions, not fellow humans.  Why someone sitting on $75 billion doesn’t believe they can part with 50% of their wealth and STILL live the same life they’re living currently is beyond my comprehension.  I’ve never even had $1 million, let alone $1 billion.  Sure there will be some in the “have” category that will see this as the ravings of someone in the “have not” category.  I have enough in my life to live the way I do, I don’t need more than that.  I’ve had my down turns and have been financially troubled in the past, but I’ve pulled through.  A portion of my salary, even in my lowest points, has been set aside for donations to various organizations that assist foreign humanitarian efforts.

Call me an apologist, a bleeding-heart, or whatever else that comes to mind.  It won’t change how disappointed I am with some of my fellow humans that refuse to see others not as fortunate as they are as anything but a sub-standard class of people.  We don’t choose where we get born, but we choose how we get to live our lives regardless of where we’re born.  A Somalian native, scratching the best existence their circumstances allow, is a far better example of a human being than most wealthy elite in any first world country.

When it’s America’s turn to suffer drought, food shortages, etc., will we get the help we need from other countries or will we get a figurative middle finger?